urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jesusardines jesusardines jesusardines 2005-02-20T07:54:57Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jesusardines:1012 2005-02-20T07:54:57Z 2005-02-20T07:54:57Z dear cletus,<br /><br />i was quite enthralled by the snow globe buddha i received on my back doorstep last thursday evening, right after waking up to the sound of a baseball drenched in shit being thrown at my bedroom window. it shattered the glass pretty easily, almost like my heart might have done if the same had been attempted at it, if i had one. dad says the new shipment should be arriving at the general store by next tuesday. i am quite thrilled to hear this news, as i feel like the tin man with a sore boner. i'm sure you know what i mean. and i meant to ask you, how is the grass where you live? does it go well with strawberry blunts? i will give you a call when i know how my last deal went. alright, well you take care and let me know if you need any baby powder.<br /><br />love,<br />jesus.<br /><br />ps says<br />my ass rash is getting better, thanks for having concern in my direction. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jesusardines:628 2005-02-18T05:11:46Z 2005-02-18T05:17:05Z video killed the radio star. the buggles. dear brumhilda,<br /><br />i am sorry for the recent loss of your only chia pet, mr. piggly. i send you my warmest wishes in his absence, and don't worry, my dad will take care of it all. that's his job, you know. mr. piggly's spirit won't end up in a ditch somewhere or anything like that. also, i wanted to thank you for all the star wars collector's edition bandaids you sent me. i put them all over my elbows for when i go rollerskating in my back alley. you know how wobbly my knees are! oh boy, you are so kind to consider my imperfections and how to work around them. and no, i don't need a new pair of sandals. the pair i've been wearing since year 0 are still suiting me quite well. in addition, please stop calling my cellular telephone. dad says it's only for emergencies. prank calling about toilet paper supply and demand is not my pop's idea of fun. i will get the balls to stand up to him one day though, you just wait. i must pee now. sacred drips of urine i send you.<br /><br />love,<br />jesus.<br /><br />ps says<br />get off my warf. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jesusardines:311 2005-02-17T01:52:12Z 2005-02-18T05:15:47Z jesus is just alright with me! dear christina,<br /> <br />i had a lovely evening visiting with you last weekend. the sardine cupcakes were quite scrumptious, but after a while i did feel the regurgitation reflex kick in. luckily, rubbing my symbolic fish immunity cream (purchased with salvation the same price as a can of pop at my daddy's general store) all over my stomach eased the jerking. i also thought to tell you your mother has quite a charming ceramic cat collection in the dining room. please send her my warm regards. <br /> <br />love, jesus.